I have a story, that will consume me no more….

Well, considering our time here is very short in the scope of everything, I better begin doing something I have procrastinated for over a decade now.  I probably never have because of being embarrassed by my grammar, but now that I have overcome such a ridiculous fear and have a couple of things in my life worth living for, I figure they wont be judging me on my grammar anyway.

In May 2001, in a hospital in Canada, I opened my eyes, for what seemed like the first time.  Opening my eyes and immediately trying to assess the situation, “Where in the hell am I?”… a few seconds later, “Ok, I am in a hospital, and what happened?”….”The last thing I remember, is rounding turn 1, seeing dust.” ……”Wow this must not be good?”…. “I think I crashed into another car, in the dust”…..”I wonder what happened to the other driver?”….”I hope he’s OK, and since I feel OK, I hope we at least made the highlight reel on ESPN!”…..”Wait, I am hooked up to a lot of things beeping and it looks like I have tubes in my nose and mouth, I feel nothing but why is all this stuff around me?”…. “Let me start moving some things around and see what hurts and doesn’t hurt”….”Right foot, hmm… can’t move it, must be in a cast or something, let me check the left side, shit, same thing, wait a second, holy shit, I can’t move my legs, how about my arms, (negative), hands, finger, toe, anything…….. Oh my god, I can’t move anything but my eyes, holy shit god what in the hell is going on here???  I can’t move, I can’t move, I can only open and close my eyes only to realize that every time I open my eyes again, I am looking at the same things and realizing I am in the same situation….  HELP, HELP, HELP, GOD DAMN YOU GOD, HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED, HOW CAN THIS BE??? Come on think, damn it, get just a finger to move, think it, see it, visualize it, now send the signal to it making it move.  Fuck!!!!!! Why is not moving, why do I feel nothing, holy shit, everything is going black again, I can accept this blackness, I welcome it, please keep going black, I am either dying, or I am waking up from a bad dream……………….